Friday, February 10, 2012

Mom Jeans

Every Wednesday we get Time Out New York.
I read the sex column, which used to be funny and entertaining, but now it's just lame. If people can't answer their own questions about some of the things they write about then they should not have sex.
I also read about the people they spot on the street. That's still interesting and sometimes makes me laugh out loud. A few weeks ago they had some dude with who had recently decided he had no real gender identity (okay) and twirled ribbons for a living.
Reading that was awesome.
Every once in a while I'll read about some new restaurant that isn't in the East Village or Williamsburg that I may put on our list of places to go. Particularly if they are above 100th street.
But lets face it, it's a big weekend if we make it below 59th. It's become our goal to do that once a month. What's the point of living in Manhattan if you don't live it up and take advantage of going downtown once in a while. Or Brooklyn or even Queens for that matter.
I basically ignore the movie listings, dance, comedy etc. I don't like to admit that, but, it is, what it is.
I don't really care.
What I did peruse in addition to my regular columns this week was the section devoted to this weeks magazine topic.
Most Stylish New Yorkers.
Actors, comedians, artists, and some drag queens.
Well. As I pondered over the contents of my closet I thought maybe I need an update? Maybe this is the issue for me!
I think of myself as maybe bohemian chic? Or that's what Michael says anyway. But that's when I really get it together.
And what does that mean anyway.
Bohemian chic.

These days my clothing consists of shirts and jeans from the gap, and a few pieces (maybe from some c list designer, my attempt at being a Maxxanista) that are wearing thin with multiple washes from kid snot and paint. Not just Ella snot,  I have a class of 24 little darlings that are walking petri dishes and snot machines.
So, can I take any tips from this weeks Time Out New York? Can I update my closet without breaking the bank? I think it may be already broken but that's another story. Can I realistically turn in my gap centric wardrobe for something more chic and sophisticated?
I thought the answer would be no. According to what I see in Time Out I'm a real dud. I am too practical a girl to wear a long dress made of lace and combat boots just because TONY said it was cool. I don't want my hair to be pink. Wearing yellow jeans with a tutu overtop, a flannel shirt and gogo boots just shouldn't be anyone's style. I don't care how much you need to express yourself! I exaggerate a bit, but you see where I'm going with this.
What is it that needs to change?
I don't care about what these yahoos say about fashion!
We have to stop getting Time Out New York.
That's it!
We are not hipsters who live in Williamsburg. We live uptown and have a kid. So I will stick to my skinny corduroys in navy that hide snot, paint and dirt remarkably well, and I will relish getting that one beautiful piece of a fashion risk every so often. Recently it was a furry vest. I'm not Ann Taylor Loft and I'm not Urban Outfitters. The Gap has good sales...I'm somewhere in between.
I'll read the get naked online if it gets better. And here's the thing THIS is New York, I spot plenty of interesting people on the street in my neighborhood. I don't need to read an exposé about a gender neutral ribbon twirler.

I am mature enough to know when it's time to switch from Time Out New York to New York Magazine...

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